Eimear works in retail. Everyday is pretty-much the same. She clocks in, stands at her little service desk, checks the clock on the wall...then checks it again and daydreams about her life outside these four walls of a department store. It's a humble job, someone's gotta do it, and she doesn't really mind. Until that customer service bell begins to ring...repetitively..."I'm standing right here!"

Written and directed by Siobhan Paterson and performed by Eimear Cunnigham, this zany slice-of-life one-woman comedy play takes you through the motions of a typical day working in retail. From customers returning air fryers filled with fish (true story), to exasperating co-workers insulting your hair (an even truer story), nothing quite makes sense and time is meaningless.  

Dedicated to those who are just trying to get by, Eimear explores her deepest insecurities as she recounts various outrageous tales from the work day aimed to make you laugh - and maybe cry.

*Contains light audience participation, strong coarse language, references to workplace violence and sexual harassment, sudden loud noises, references to suicide, political, religious and racial themes mentioned. Suitable for ages 15+.

EVENT DETAILS:

TIME/DATES: 9PM, 1 - 4 April 2026

DURATION: 90 MINUTES WITHOUT INTERVAL. DOORS OPEN 20 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW

VENUE: THE SHOWROOM THEATRE